A lot can happen over coffee......i swear .... try it !!!!!!!!

I put my hands around her waist and moved closed to her , close enough to let her breadth fall heavily on my face . she made a mock attempt pushing me back , wiping the smile off her face and whispered " time for you to break some civic laws ......  :P " . 


kanu droved me out of auditorium and went straight down the hall to ladies washroom . she checked out the washroom for co-occupants and on finding none came out , seductively moving her finger at me , daring me to come in . "Just the thought of coming in here is giving me a Hard on " - i said . " Let me help you make good use of it then " - she giggled .  We made out in the washroom like bunnies , just couldn't seem to get enough of the other , at times almost crushing each other against the wall . 


Suddenly while "licking" my face she spited , and it came out as if a whole jug of water being splashed on my face . "wake up , you sick , lousy turd !" - Cheta (my rommie) shouted on me with the empty jug in his hands . i yelled - stay away you jack-ass  , its only 8 .... have you gone nuts . Again knocking the clock for checking it to be not out of battery i shouted - ITS ALMOST 8 BUddy , Jimmy goona kill me this time  , if i am again late for his lecture. Carry my notebook with you , i will catch you there in the class - i said jumping out of the bed with brush in my mouth , tieing my shoe lases .


 (writing in progress , be a little patient )

Is there really anything called " 1 sided love " ????????

If you can't be of the girl who loves you   AND   can't get the girl whom you love , the worst part of it is that people will start questioning - ' ARE YOU a gay ??? '.  and the only reply u can come up with is -  " FUCK you..... it was just another bad day , my destiny welcomed me with " .


One thing common about life and chappel's  ( former indian cricket coach ) strategy is that ,  most of the time it will come just the opposite as you expected  it to be . Though nature is too complex , it follows certain common rules  and  LOVE is  no different .  Well , never mind ; sometimes i am so cleaver that i  too don't understand a single word what i am saying ..... :P

After my breakup with Pia , the only charm left in my life was kanu ( kaniska whom i affectionately call by this name ; but she still called me mridul rather maddy because affection was one sided only  ) . A man is half way in love with a girl who starts listening him .  Though it took me just  3 minutes to propose her after a few meetings , for the last 3 weeks she has kept me unanswered . well , this is the most frustrating phase of a lover's  business . he is not assured anything and at the same time is not not expected to take chances elsewhere . but this wasn't applicable completely to my case as i didn't had many options (already tried most of them earlier and needless to say got screwed every time..........) . 


Seriously , there was nothing in my head  like backing off . My love now didn't followed the simple arithmetic that, i love you but you don't so there is no hope in loving you anymore . Rather it was like i love you because i mean it , and one day you will have to love me . i just turned 19 , that might  be the reason why i believe in happy endings . whatever be the reason , one thing was damn sure that life without her would just be a set of metabolic processes with much of smoke and little interest . 



I can't believe that , remembering of days when we laughed together could  really make me cry someday .   Why the hell is she not getting , i love her more than anything else in this world , even the double cheese pizza of domino's  or even  spicy pani - puri at nook corner . God knows , how ashamed i feel on facing myself in mirror . we lie to girls not because we want to , but actually we have no truths to tell for    sustaining such long conversations . I hate sambar - vada ; feels like puking out on seeing it , but had to eat it ordering  coconut chutney also because  SHE LOVED IT .   And  after all this , if she replies that " i have always thought of you as a good friend of mine , nothing else " . you could easily understand how mush pissed off a guy can feel at  this.



But a lover should never believe in letting things happen , rather he should try to make it happen.
Right now i have no plans but we people , from IT sector will never give up in trying to act smarter  and look different . I must come up with some plan before she slams the door on my face . Do suggest something if you have any .  "FAILING  in love " is a topic  in which people secretly do their research and never publish there research works - my father once told me looking at an old album of his college days . I really don't understood what he told then but now am getting what he meant .


 anywayz just waiting for morning to meet kaniska again in college......gud n888....bbyee !!!!!

my first blog ......

its really a nice feeling to be a blogger. for some people its passion,for some just a means to be occupied. Mine is a different case.


Let me first introduce myself to all you passionate listeners. i am more of a frustrated college guy who sucks with his grades at studies , always thinks of proposing to pretty girls ever found roaming in campus but hardly been noticed by any , thinking that god has created everyone with some qualities but was i his only mistake.......(many more things which listeners are expected to relate to their own).........................................


By the time you must have got some idea about what kind of person  m i and things will become clearer once this piece of writing ( might appear just a shit writing to some intellects) progresses. 
My inspiration for starting blogging was not guided by any firm belief of becoming popular or raising any issue where we really need to go back , paining our brain cells thinking have we really morally so much deteriorated...... nopes..... if you are looking for all those stuff , definitely you are searching the wrong pages.



This piece of writing is just an extempore arising due to the fact that as usual i had a bad day but still it made me dying to share my feelings which was killing me from within.  This is my 10th cigarette burning my finger for last few seconds , and my lungs for last two hours. so , needless to say i have been smoking continuously for last two hours . But what else you expect from an averaged head guy  , pulling his hairs off solving typical computational problems whole night and then somehow managing to escape 'F' by a whisker. This event is   usually followed by praising words such as idiot , useless , w t f have you been doing whole semester etc. from parents which we indian students are used to ( not everyone is as lucky as shahrukh of DDLJ) . 


So lets return back to "What inspired me for dis shit writing ? ".  Its now 2 a.m and in the last 8 hrs , i some how managed to get two 'D' in my DCS ( Discrete Computational Structures) and L.D ( Logic Design ) , got the news that my father is visiting my place this week and most important , got rejected consecutively twice within a period of 3 hrs . So you can't expect me to be  celebrating all this  " Convivial " happenings . 

I proposed  kanishka , got the call from Pia yelling that she don't  want to see me again. Kanishka refused to talk to me anymore stating me a cheap , morally downtrodden , shameless person and many more.   Hold....hold....  i know everything sounds confusing so let me take you a few months back . I   somehow  'accidently'   got into relationship with Pia a month ago.  At first it was no more than fun for me.  But then i realized , i was turning nauseous and tingly all over . I was either in love or i had smallpox . 

Fortunately i don't had to see doctor , as my friends ( holding masters in the subject ) , confirmed that this is  'LOVE' not smallpox . We were having good time together in spite of the fact she was aware of my smoking and drinking habits . 


girls love boys hoping they will change.
boys love girls hoping they will not.

So each is inevitably disappointed.


This went correct in my case also . Meanwhile i met kanishka , pursuing the same course but in the   other batch . Conversation began discussing some project details and  just in a few meetings got personal . I enjoyed her company but she treated me no more than a good friend of her .  u can't buy love on e-bay.  " Love has no guarantees ; if that's what you are looking for , go live with a car battery  " . this is how i convinced myself that i was not doing anything wrong to Pia .


If any beggar gets a 5 rupee note , in spite of thanking the foolish fellow he proudly considers himself to be smarter than rest in the business . I was no different . So in trying to  act smarter , i ended up doing something suicidally stupid . Can't mention all due to space and time constraints .  


Hey . shit yaar .... its quater to 8 and i have jimmy's class from 8. Already  8 bunks in his lectures so can't cut any more. To be honest , every thing written above was just a crap. i was sleep deprived and wanted company. thats why this f**** idea got into my head to bore you with my writing skills . thanx for your patience to come to last of it . hope to catch you buddies in my next blog !!!!



( the end )